Where to start?

Each plate explains one specific mechanism, but you don't always feel like reading everything. Choose the sentence that sounds most like you: here you will find the plates to read, in order. Nothing obliges you to follow it all, and you can also go through the four parts in order, starting with The basics.

I want to get to know myself, or I'm a beginner

To understand your body before looking for techniques. In this order:

• The body map : locate each area, with diagrams.
• Solo exploration : try on your own, changing only one thing at a time.
• The stages of arousal : understand why the same touch pleases or bothers depending on the moment.
• A free mind : when the mind gets involved.

I don't climax, or I need a lot of time

Pleasure is often a matter of stimulation and context, rarely of a "defect". In this order:

• When orgasm takes time : the common causes and some leads, with no promises. This plate is free.
• A free mind : getting out of performance mode.
• Consistency : keeping the same touch as arousal rises.
• The stages of arousal : spotting the right moment for each touch.

I don't climax during penetration

This is very common, and the clitoris is rarely unrelated to it. In this order:

• The clitoris too : touching the clitoris during penetration, without seeing it as cheating.
• Angles : shifting the point of contact by tilting the pelvis.
• Rocking : moving without pulling out, to keep contact.
• A hand on the belly : adding pressure above the pubic bone, with or without a toy.

I have pain during sex

Pain is not something you have to put up with: it can be located, eased, and checked by a professional. In this order:

• Painful sex : entrance or depth, and who to consult.
• Lubrication : what makes it vary, and what to do about dryness.
• The stages of arousal : letting the body get ready before any touch.
• Saying yes, saying stop : agreeing on a word to stop.

My body is changing: dryness, menopause, fatigue

Less lubrication or different sensations do not mean the end of pleasure. In this order:

• Lubrication : choosing a lubricant and easing dryness.
• Anticipation : giving desire more time before moving to the clitoris.
• Muffling : softening a vibrator that is too intense.
• Painful sex : if the pain sets in.

I want to talk about it as a couple

To guide, ask, and stop, without blame. In this order:

• Saying what feels good : guiding your partner with words or with your hand.
• Saying yes, saying stop : checking consent along the way.
• Anticipation : foreplay that takes its time.
• Kissing the vulva : reading every reaction during cunnilingus.

I want variety, to get out of the routine

When a touch you like wears off. In this order:

• Rhythm : playing only with speed and pauses.
• Variations: surprise : alternating touches to avoid habit.
• Variations: renewal : a short pause, a different touch.
• Edging : approaching orgasm, slowing down, building up again.

I want to try a toy

A toy changes the rules: better to know them first. In this order:

• Toy safety : materials, lubricant, flared base: what makes a toy safe.
• Muffling : softening a vibrator that is too intense.
• The right distance : placing it near the clitoris and adjusting the intensity.
• The shower head : using water, on the vulva only.

I want to protect myself

Barriers, tests and vaccines: what protects against what. In this order:

• Condoms and STI testing : the full table, and when to get tested.
• Toy safety : cleaning and sharing toys.
• Saying yes, saying stop : talking about it beforehand, not at the last moment.